Grey, that is how I feel. I do not like the fall, I do not like the winter. I do not like them. Spring is nice. Summer to me is the best, long sunny days. Hot sticky days! I do not like to layer my clothes, I do not like it! I like to take my clothes off.
The worst part of fall and winter for me is the cloudiness, endless days of clouds. Rain, I like the rain. But clouds with no rain, well that just makes me feel grey. And I do not like it. I like colors, reds, greens, blues, yellows, purples, and every other color of spring and summer. The short days play havoc on my psyche. I feel like I can get nothing done. I know that this time shall pass and once again the trees will turn green, the sun will warm me up, and I will walk once again in the heat but for now I do miss it so.
These days are harder for me as I feel such a disconnect with my life, I miss my daughter, my dogs, my cat, and I miss having a regular well paying job that I love. What I do now is great, I do love being an artist but there are many struggles with this life, mostly financial, it wasn't supposed to be this way at my age, was it?
When you meet someone and find out that you like them it is a difficult thing for me to hold back and be patient. I am lonely, I crave friendship, compassion, and love. I want to move so fast and yet I know that I can not. I will be patient, as I know the trees will turn green again, so too will I love again.
I'd like to show you some pics of artsy stuff but I haven't worked on much lately. Hopefully soon, I will have some semblance of a studio. It has been a huge adjustment for me this last year, a lot has changed, a lot more is left to change, and that is actually a very good thing. Thanks.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Robots and Art
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Thanks!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Something good, something new, and something sparkly!
So, we spend so much of our time thinking about, dreaming about, and romanticizing relationships. It has been a very strange year full of changes both good and bad. But I think that I've handled things well, ending a long relationship with someone is difficult, then you throw in children, lawyers, a house, money, and things get ugly....Time has passed and I feel so much better now than even a few months ago. And now that old things are done, the urge to start up again with a new relationship comes around from something that in my past would have been labelled as a "diversion" or "a waste of time". I've had the time to volunteer with a few organizations and it's been very helpful as someone that has been out of work for some time. It feels like a job, the people that volunteer with you are really interesting and they actually want to be there and make a difference, even though none of us get paid, it has been very uplifting to my spirits. I still continue to look for a permanent job but I now have several part time endeavors, as well as working on my art full time, because no matter what I do, I am a full time artist.
I was asked the other day if I liked what I did? Yes, I said. But that wasn't the truth. The truth is that I actually love what I do. It is an incredible experience to take pieces of steel and create something with my hands and then it gets better when other people like what I do and want it. One of my neighbors from Decatur contacted me and didn't know that I had moved, she was disappointed that the sculptures that I put in the yard where gone. That was one of the things about her walks that she really liked. To hear that was astonishing, because sometimes, I live in a vacuum and don't think that anybody likes what I do, but the reminders come in just when I need them.
So, now I'm off onto other adventures with art, humanity, music, love, food, and the completely unexpected turn that my life has made. And now I'm headed down that path again. Or is it up that path again?
I was asked the other day if I liked what I did? Yes, I said. But that wasn't the truth. The truth is that I actually love what I do. It is an incredible experience to take pieces of steel and create something with my hands and then it gets better when other people like what I do and want it. One of my neighbors from Decatur contacted me and didn't know that I had moved, she was disappointed that the sculptures that I put in the yard where gone. That was one of the things about her walks that she really liked. To hear that was astonishing, because sometimes, I live in a vacuum and don't think that anybody likes what I do, but the reminders come in just when I need them.
So, now I'm off onto other adventures with art, humanity, music, love, food, and the completely unexpected turn that my life has made. And now I'm headed down that path again. Or is it up that path again?
Thursday, November 3, 2011
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76 Dodge Aspen |
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